Emotional baggage can take its toll on a relationship. Whenever you are looking to get into a new relationship with someone, you always want to make sure that that person isn’t carrying any heavy emotional baggage. As much as possible, you will want to be starting things off with a blank slate. Otherwise, you’re just going to make things a lot harder for yourselves. Remember that relationships are already uphill battles as they already are. When you add emotional baggage into the mix, it makes the emotional load a lot heavier.
If you are starting to date a guy, you want to make sure that you have his full attention. You want to make sure that you aren’t going to be competing with anyone – most especially someone he has already been with in the past. There are many men out there who jump right back into the dating pool even though they haven’t gotten over their exes just yet. And that can prove to be dangerous for any woman they might end-up dating in the future.
It’s always a problem if you start to date a guy who hasn’t gotten over his ex yet. It’s a problem because instead of building a potential relationship with one another from scratch, you have to compete with someone who still has a hold on his heart and soul. You never want to take on that challenge because you would only be setting yourself up for potential heartache and disappointment.
If you notice that the guy that you’re with still isn’t over his ex, then you need to excuse yourself from that situation before you become invested in him. He will have to deal with his feelings first before you can start talking about building something together. He will have to be able to deal with his baggage before you give him a chance. Otherwise, the odds will be heavily stacked against the two of you.
Here are a few signs that he hasn’t gotten over his ex yet.
1. He still has spite for his ex.
Usually, you might think that he hates his ex is a good sign that he’s over her. But that isn’t the case. The true sign that a man has gotten over his ex is not when he has developed anger for her. Instead, he should be feeling a sense of indifference towards her. The fact that he’s still upset at his ex means that he still has feelings for her.
2. He still tries to maintain contact with her.
There should be no reason for him to maintain contact with his ex unless they are required to do so because of work or other complications. For instance, they might share custody of a child; then, it’s normal for them to interact still. But if he’s reaching out to her for the heck of it, then you know that something sketch is up.
3. He always brings her up in conversations.
It’s normal for two people in a relationship to be discussing their relationship histories with one another. However, if he’s volunteering information about his ex without you even asking for it, then it might be a sign that he still thinks about her a lot. Hence, he might not be over her just yet.
4. He still holds on to memories of her.
Nostalgia is a powerful tool. And it can be very telling of where a man’s heart may lie. If he’s pining over old memories, he shared with his ex. Then it’s a sign that he hasn’t gotten over her yet.
5. He goes out of his way to still see her.
A man over his ex would never be deliberately going out of his way just to run into her or spend time with her.
6. He compares you to her.
First of all, your man should never be comparing you to any other woman. He should always be taking you for your own merits. But if he has the gall to compare you to his ex, then there’s no doubt that he still isn’t over the fact that they’re no longer together.
7. He stays friends with her friends.
There’s no reason for him to be in contact with his ex’s friends just for the hell of it. He’s trying to maintain a link between him and his ex through their mutual friends.
8. He doesn’t seem ready to commit to you just yet.
He doesn’t make it seem like he’s ready to commit to you. It’s as if he still has one foot out of the door with you. He refuses to make any long-term plans with you. He refuses to define the relationship with you. It’s as if he’s still trying to hold off for the sake of something else…