There isn’t a standard list of things that equally applies to all relationships. What works for me might not work so well for others. For instance, you should see each other as often as possible. But if either of you has a busy schedule or it’s a long-distance relationship, this might not be possible. That doesn’t necessarily mean you cannot make it work. On the other hand, loyalty is a necessary constant in all sorts of relationships, even if you’re miles apart.
So here are 20 secrets that would help you have the relationship of your life;
Know yourself to know others
When you learn to dig deep within yourself, you begin to learn about others more. The more you allow people to connect with you, you’d get to know them better in return. You’d know how to reach the very depth of people.
You alone are responsible for your feelings.
Don’t give people the power to control your mind or heart. You’re personal and perfectly capable of deciding how you feel about specific circumstances or people. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.
Be yourself, at all costs.
If someone doesn’t like you, it’s not your responsibility to change their opinion. You shouldn’t have to please anyone. Don’t change yourself to gain acceptance. Be proud of who you’re. You’re one of a kind. And if people can’t accept you for who you’re, you don’t need to keep them around.
To be in a world constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment’ Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Despite all the differences, people are essentially the same
Sure everyone you meet will be a little different from you, but what is life without a bit of color. At the same time, you’d have at least a few things in common with the people you meet. Our similarities can link us and be the foundation of something unique.
No expectations, no disappointments
Not everyone has the same heart as yours. Not everyone is going to treat you the way you treat them. Don’t set any expectations from anyone; you might end up hurt. So spare yourself the pain, but be the best you can be. And let people surprise you. And if you meet someone who isn’t precisely lovely every once in a while, this habit of yours wouldn’t allow you to be affected much by them.
Listen to them attentively!
If someone’s sitting before you talking about something, listen to them intently, even if it doesn’t seem essential to you. It’s critical enough for them to speak to you about it, and you should respect that. Moreover, they’re talking to you about it because they expect you to listen and understand, don’t let them down. Even if the subject of the conversation doesn’t matter, the person talking matters, all the same; don’t be disrespectful.
Love yourself more, to be loved more
You do not attract what you want. You attract what you are.’ Dr. Wayne Dyer
The more you love yourself, you’ll attract people who’d be capable of loving you with the same intensity. You’re showing people what you want and how you deserve to be treated. It works as a filter; only the people who’re willing to live up to those standards will dare reach out to you.
Don’t let the fear of getting hurt turn into the fear of falling in love
Please don’t play it safe; you’re never going to have a chance of finding what you’re looking for. Feelings are reciprocated. Love with all your heart, to be loved the same way. When it isn’t returned, it does hurt with the same intensity, but it teaches you how to cope with heartbreak all the same.
You are only responsible for what you do and how you feel. Love without any expectations of it being returned. You get back what you put out. Don’t be afraid of getting hurt.
Stop chasing people or things. What’s meant for you will find you
Focus on being the kind of person you’d want in your life. Don’t run after the things or people you think might be right for you. The right people and circumstances will find you when the time is right. Be the right person, and the right things will come to you.
Relationships could either be a blessing or a lesson.
Suppose it works out, great. You’ve finally found the one! But if it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world either. You can learn from it. Failed relationships often teach you lessons that you might never know otherwise. They teach you about your shortcomings and how things ought to be handled when emotions are involved. A passing relationship, or a longer one; there’s always something to gain from them.
A few real friends over several fake ones
You don’t need a lot of people in your life to make it seem fulfilling. A few good, deep connections are all you need—a few people who you can trust and be yourself around.
Learn the difference between love and lust
Lust is when you love only what you see. Love is when you lust what’s inside.’
If they desire you more than they desire being with you, it’s not going to last. It’s superficial and would burn out sooner than you think. Find something meaningful, something more than just skin deep.
Don’t fear being judged.
If you think you’re weird, don’t suppress it. Acknowledge and flaunt it. Who wants to blend in any way! Be yourself because you can’t please everyone. And no matter what you do, someone somewhere will always find fault in your tracks. So if you get to choose only one person you can please, that person should undoubtedly be you. If people can accept you for who you are, keep them. If they can’t, you were doing pretty well without them anyway.
Be a better person than you were yesterday.
Do you want to find good, genuine people? Become one, and you’d cross paths with similar people. Become the person you’d like to be around. You can’t change people, and you shouldn’t. You only have control over yourself, and you can choose to be whoever you want to be, choose wisely!
Don’t allow negativity to creep into your relationship
Put so much positivity into your relationship that there is no room for negativity. Love with all your heart. Be good, have good. Treat your partner with love, respect, and kindness, and you’ll never worry about anything going wrong.
Other people are a reflection of you.
If you’re critical of everyone else, you’re probably essential of yourself as well. But if you appreciate your strengths, you’ll find yourself looking for the same in other people. Choosing how you see yourself determines how you see other people.
Don’t try to change people.
You’re never comfortable around someone you can’t be yourself with; the same is true for other people. Stop suffocating them and don’t lead them into believing that they’re not good enough. Appreciate their qualities, and overlook their shortcomings. Love them for who they indeed are.
Let go of the pain
Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.’ Sonia Ricotti
If you hold on to pain and hurt, you can’t move on and find what is truly meant for you. They’re the very things holding you back. Even if you’ve been hurt, you still can find the love you deserve. But unless you’re willing to give it a chance to see you, it never will.
People make mistakes
You aren’t perfect, and neither is any other person alive. Accept them the way they are, to be accepted. Forgive their mistakes, to be forgiven when you do something wrong. After all, the mistakes you make teach you the lessons you need to learn. Stop giving people a hard time, and learn to forgive them.
What is the secret to your successful relationship? Did you find it anywhere in the list above? Have any of these worked for you as a person or in a relationship? Let us know.