Is cheating to be allowed?
It’s the worst thing to do for your heart: be cheated on. It’s like someone stabbed your back and you want to laugh with them. It hurts. But we do our best to move on from those feelings. Sometimes, by removing cheaters from our lives, and other times by forgiving them and forgetting about what they did.
Humans love so deeply that we can see past the mistakes of others to save our relationship with them. These 15 questions will help you make a decision about whether to forgive or not.
1. Is Cheating their Habit?
Did it happen more than once? Was it more than once? It matters. It matters. If we become accustomed to doing wrong things, our conscience will need washing.
You should forgive them if they cheat on you once, and you are truly sorry for it. We recommend that you ignore any comments they make if they have done it before.
2. What kind of cheating was it?
This question was necessary because some people view flirting or having a close male/female friend as cheating. First, you need to understand what cheating is and then evaluate the situation. If they do not meet the criteria, you can help them to understand why.
Are you in a stale relationship with them? Do you feel emotionally detached from them? Try to resolve the situation if possible.
3. Did they try it again?
After you had forgiven them the first time, they promised to never look back again. Was that a promise they kept? This question is important because it builds trust and can be very draining.
If the act was committed once, and it was not out of desperation or innocent motive, forgive.
4. Did it work as a one-night cheat?
It could have been their lust taking over. Consider accepting an apology if they wake up the next day and the first thing that they do is tell you that the guilt of it is killing them. It dumps them if it wasn’t just one night.
Anyone who can keep two women/men in the dark is a hero. You don’t have to cry about them. Your tears are more valuable than their conscious errors.
5. Who were they cheating with?
The possibility of an affair may not be important to you, as the mere fact they cheated could break your heart. But, on a deeper level, it may help you decide if forgiving them is something you might consider. Did it happen to someone you were close to? Did it belong to a friend, a maid, or an old acquaintance?
Was it a prostitute, or someone you’ve never heard of? If you feel the need to forgive them, pay attention to this small detail.
6. Would You Have Done It?
We are not saints, but sinners. Because we don’t see the other side of a story, we make mistakes when we judge a situation. If you were in the same situation as them, would you have done the exact same thing? What if your mind had fallen and lust took over all morality and principle?
If even a small amount of yes’ is ringing in your heart then you can forgive them. But only if they truly are sorry. We’re not perfect and we all make mistakes.
7. How can you deal with it?
You can forgive the perpetrator, but it will take some time for the relationship to improve. It takes time for trauma to heal. Things will eventually get back to normal. Ask if you have enough time and the potential to fix the mess.
You must be willing to restore everything. You don’t have to spend the energy or time necessary to clean up their mess, you can move on.
8. Is it easy to forget?
Sometimes forgetting is harder than forgiving. It is possible to not be able forget what they did even if you have made the decision to forgive them. Although you will never stop loving them as Rachel did when Ross cheated with her, it is possible to forget about what they did.
If you find yourself thinking about their infidelity every time you kiss them, or if the thought of their dishonesty obstructs your romantic thoughts, it is possible that your forgiveness decision wasn’t the best.
9. Is it possible to get over it?
If you can’t move on from the past, or if the events are still fresh in your mind, the relationship is going to be difficult to maintain. It won’t be a pleasant relationship if you keep bringing up the issue even after you have forgiven them.
Evidently, he/she will keep quiet, knowing that it’s better to be silent than to defend their case. Your inability to move on from it will not only ruin your mood, but almost everything about your relationship.
10. Do You Have the Right to Rely on Them?
Are you able to be normal again with your girlfriend/boyfriend? Do you have the strength to trust your boyfriend/girlfriend at all stages of their lives, not be afraid that they might do the same thing again? If you don’t, your relationship will be nothing but a complicated affair without any romance.
It is futile to continue it. Ask yourself if it is possible to be a normal girlfriend/boyfriend again. If the answer is no then you should end the relationship.
11. How does it affect your self-esteem?
Will you hurt your self-esteem if you accept their mistake and look at it as a learning opportunity? It will make you less respectable. It’s possible to stay with someone who is brave enough not to get in your way once.
It is possible to regret it later and feel guilty for not being there for someone who values your presence in their lives. It’s possible, and it can be very effective. If you feel that forgiving them will harm your self-esteem, hold on to your life and get rid of them.
12. Is He or She a Narcissist?
They were right to accuse you of cheating. Did they point fingers at you based on their motives? If they are doing this, walk away. Even if your relationship has been growing in distance, he/she does not have the right to focus on you.
Narcissists can be dangerous. They are not good people to have a relationship with and they are not worthy of forgiveness.
13. Are They Giving Their Best Now?
You can judge if you should forgive someone based on their attitude after they are caught. They are likely to apologize if they are open to looking beyond the past and focusing on you and your actions.
If their world revolves around them and their eyes are still focused on other people, they don’t deserve forgiveness.
14. Are they worth it?
Ask yourself these questions to determine if it is worth the effort. Are they the perfect guy/girl that you thought you couldn’t replace? Is it worth the effort to get the relationship back where it was before?
You can accept their apology if they are. But if they have never been Mr./Ms. You can accept the apology if they are Mr. / Mrs.
15. Do You Consider You Can Do Better?
It was you who was hurt and played in the end. This should be your main question when you decide to forgive the cheater. Are you capable of getting better than a cheater? If you still cannot accept the fact that the cheater cheated, or if this is all that you see, then ask this last question. Then, make your decision.
Talk to me
Are you being cheated? I know that I have. What did you do to find out? Let me know your story in the comments!