You can’t help who you fall in love with. And sometimes, you might end up falling for someone terrible for you – and as unfortunate a situation as that might be, it’s still something that happens all too often. There are so many kinds of terrible people out there, but there are very few who are worse than the narcissists of the world. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to fall in love with a narcissist, then you know just how terrible and toxic being in a relationship with one is. You are essentially getting into a relationship with someone who is self-obsessed, a person who only cares about themselves. It’s a “me” not “we” type of situation whenever you’re with him, and you can get fed up with that behavior reasonably quickly. But being with a narcissist can be so emotionally draining that even when you end your relationship, you’re going to have difficulty finding your way back into a healthy relationship again.
You might not see it right away, but being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist can have substantial negative effects on the way that you go about your own life. You are somehow made to believe that you are less significant than the people around you, as if your needs don’t matter as much as those of others. And it can take some time and effort to break away from those unhealthy philosophies. These emotional effects are primarily going to become clear to you when you start dating other people again. You will be given a stark contrast of what it’s like to date a great guy and a guy who is narcissistic.
Here are some things that you can expect to learn about being in a relationship with a great guy after dating a narcissist:
1. The good guy always expresses his confidence in you.
He is always going to make you believe that he genuinely believes in you. He is never going to belittle or demean your capabilities. He isn’t going to feed into your insecurities. He isn’t going to be withholding of his praise. He will put his trust in you, and he will make you believe in his faith in you.
2. The right guy will do anything to earn and build your trust in him.
The narcissist won’t care much for earning your trust. Because in reality, he doesn’t care much about what you think of him. He only cares about what he thinks of himself.
3. The right guy will be kind to you whenever and wherever.
Kindness is something that comes innately to the right guy. But the narcissist is only ever kind to you whenever he feels like he can get something out of it.
4. The good guy makes an effort to hear out whatever you want to say.
The good guy is going to listen to you whenever you want to talk or express something. But the narcissist is only ever interested in what they have to think or say about anything. He won’t listen to you, especially if your views contradict his own.
5. The good guy has no problems with apologizing when he’s in the wrong.
The narcissist will believe that he is always in the right, and he will never apologize. The good guy acknowledges his faults and owns up to them.