Confessions of women.
Sometimes, love is such a terrible thing. Yes, it is possibly one of (if not the most) the most fantastic job that we could ever have the privilege of experiencing in this life. But with the power that love brings, it also has the potential to wreak havoc and trouble into the lives that we live – uniquely when we aren’t equipped with the faculties to handle love the way that it should be handled. Yes, we are all so desperate to find love. But in that desperation, we often cloud our judgment; and we end up doing things that are counterproductive and just downright harmful for us. We can’t allow our despair to pursue love to rule over us and cloud our senses.
No matter how strongly we want to believe that we have found love in a person, sometimes, it’s just not the case. And we have to be strong enough to accept when love just doesn’t turn out the way that it’s supposed to be. Because that’s a sad reality that we all just have to learn to accept. Love isn’t always going to be kind to us. It isn’t still going to be so willing to meet our expectations. It isn’t always going to be so willing to cooperate. And when that happens, we need to be able to detach ourselves from those situations. Otherwise, we allow those unfortunate circumstances to consume us, and it might forever taint our views on love.
It’s hard. You get into a relationship with someone because you know that there is a genuine connection there. You feel like there’s a spark, and you want to be able to build on it. So you do whatever you can to make sure that you can make things work. And things might start high. However, like with any other endeavor in life, it’s not about how you start – it’s how you finish. And just because your relationship got off to a good start doesn’t automatically mean that you will be able to build on it – or even sustain it all together. You have to understand that love is a constant building process. And you always have to be working your hardest to ensure that you don’t lose it with one another.
But even then, there are times when not even all the effort in the world will be enough to make things work for you. No matter how much you want to believe that the person you’re with is “the one”, you know that the truth says otherwise. You so desperately want to think that the relationship that you’re in is the one you need to be fighting for when in fact, it’s the one that you need to be moving on from. And that’s something that not a lot of people know how to do – they can’t detach themselves from their failing relationships because they are motivated by their selfish desires and desperation. That should never be the case.
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone you’re just not meant to be with, then you need to develop the resolve just to walk away. Of course, you don’t want to throw away a relationship just because it gets a little tricky. But you don’t want to keep wasting your time with a man who isn’t “the one” for you after all. If you want to know how you can find out for sure if the man you’re with isn’t “the one,” then just read up on the experiences of these six ladies:
1. “I couldn’t imagine having a future with him at all.” (Jill, 26)
It’s all about planning for the long-term anyway. If you can’t see yourself being in a relationship with this guy in the decades to come, why continue to stay together?
2. “We both just wanted different things out of life.” (Monique, 29)
While you don’t necessarily have to agree on everything, you must have at least some shared interests, goals, and values that you can use to bind the two of you together.
3. “I discovered that our problems weren’t just rough patches.” (Rachel, 34)
Yes, all relationships have rough patches. But you have to be able to figure out if your rough patches are merely temporary – or if they’re real lingering problems that you are never going to solve.
4. “I was only ever with him because it was convenient” (Katrina, 27)
A relationship should never be built on convenience. Plain and simple. It takes the value and the magic out of falling in love.
See also: My Girlfriend Donated Her Kidney To Save Me, But I’m No Longer In Love With Her Anymore, What Do I Do?
5. “I just stayed with him because I didn’t want to hurt him.” (Trish, 21)
You shouldn’t feel afraid to hurt other people by standing up for your feelings as well. You shouldn’t have to compromise your happiness so that you don’t end up making him sad.
6. “I found myself thinking about what it would be like to be with someone else” (May, 26)
When you’re with “the one,” you don’t ever find yourself thinking about being with someone else anymore. So if you’re fantasizing about being with other men, then you know that you’re not in a relationship with the one.
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