Nothing is permanent
Man is a social animal. Everyone craves for a company. None can survive alone without the company of another human being. A company can be that of friends, parents, siblings, relatives or a spouse. Having a partner in the form of a spouse or a girlfriend/boyfriend gives meaning to one’s life. Life becomes beautiful and both hope of living a happy life together. But just because the company of another partner makes life worth living, that does not mean that one jumps into any relationship. Finding a Mr. Right or Mrs. Right is equally important too. A bad relationship can bring more stress in life than any good. Finding the right partner may sometimes take ages or sometimes or it may happen in seconds. And, while you are still hunting for your ‘Right’ partner, it is absolutely OK to admit to being single.
People have started considering ‘Being Single’ as bad. They hate the ‘single’ status. They even go through a bad relationship just because they do not want to be single in life. But what one needs to know is that it is absolutely OK to ‘Being Single’. This phase of being single should be used in a better way. Use this time to nurture your mind, learn more about yourself, raise your standards, learn new hobbies and learn your own company. Your Mr. Right is definitely waiting somewhere round the corner. Don’t chase someone just because you hate being single. There is no need to rush!
You also need to remember that nothing is permanent in life; neither your joys nor your sorrows. And so, this phase of being single also will not be forever. Times will change and you will soon find yourself in the loving company of your beloved.
If you are still unhappy about your single status, read below on how to improve things.
You will not be single forever, accept that
Be forever hopeful about finding your partner sometime soon. Being hopeful in a good way releases good vibes and makes you positive. A positive state of mind, in turn, will make you socialize more. The more you socialize, the more are your chances of finding someone.
Don’t be sad or depressed about being single
Being sad or depressed about your loneliness will only make you crave for sympathy or shut yourself out from others. You have to accept your current status happily and do all the things you can do alone. A depressed person craving for sympathy might get only sympathy and not anyone’s genuine or willing company. Being sad or depressed will also turn you into a grieving and sad old maid who will look old much before her age.
Be patient and don’t hate the world
Be patient about finding your partner someday. Nothing happens overnight. If you are too impatient about it, you might end up settling for someone who is not worthy enough. Even if you find someone appealing, take some time and patience to see whether they are really right for you or not. It’s easy to fall prey to people whom you otherwise would hate when you are single, depressed, lonely and desperate.
Don’t chase anyone
The quote, ‘If you love someone set it free if he comes back to you, he was meant for you else he was never made for you’ holds true in this case. If you chase someone just because you don’t want to be single might get you the social status of ‘Committed’ but it will never give you the happiness one seeks from a relationship. If you have the attitude, ‘It is their loss and not yours’ you will not only feel good from within but you will also come across at a strong person to the outside world.
Decide the kind of person you would want as a partner
Use your free time wisely and spend time on thinking what qualities would you want in your partner. This would prevent you from settling for someone not worthy of you and will also unknowingly push you towards getting someone quicker. From your past relationships or present relationships of your friends, you should determine certain qualities you would want in your would-be-partner. Whether you would want someone who loves to read, is into sports, has certain qualities you prefer in men; is humorous or any other such qualities. This will help you identify with your soul-mate faster.
Don’t hate your own company
Instead, learn to love your own company. There are so many things you can do alone which you would need to compromise on after finding your partner. For instance, cook and eat whatever you like, watch the kind of movies you like and travel to places you always wanted to. Develop a hobby or even learn a new art. This will keep you busy and make you use your time well. A Saturday night with a good book, a pizza and nice music sounds like lots of fun.
Good people do exist
Just because you are single currently does not mean that there are no good people left in the world. Do not shun yourself from the company of eligible partners. Seek alliances; meet new people in your hobby classes and book clubs. You never know, you might click with someone in the cooking classes you have just joined! The world is full of good people and just because your past relationship did not work, it does not mean that you will never get anyone nice again.
Be thankful for your blessings and possessions
Spread happiness everywhere. Build an aura of positivity around you to attract positive vibes. If you are pessimistic about your single status, you might end up sending negative vibrations to everyone. Love your job, your house, your career, your friends, your family, your attitude and yourself. Someone soon enough will fall in love with you!
Keep yourself busy
Do all the wonderful things that keep you busy and happy. Remember the dance class you always wanted to join or your New Year resolution to lose some weight? The time is now and the time is right! Keep yourself busy and happy doing things you always wanted to do. This way you spend your loneliness doing something worthwhile and you also give yourself ample opportunity to find new people.
Spend time with other lonely people
Now that you are lonely and single, only you know what it means to be single. Spend time with those who are lonely too. They could be children at the orphanage, old people at an old age home or poor children in foster care. They could also be stray pets yearning for love and company. When you feel lonely, give back something to others. It always feels nice to do good to others; doing this will also make you focus on what you have rather than what you don’t have.
Make the best of your single status; accept it
It is very natural to hate your single self and to hate your life when you see couples walking hand in hand. Happy couples at the shopping mall, theatre, restaurants, and clubs might make you hate your life and might get you into depression. But the best what you can do at this time is to accept your single status and make the most of it. Once you accept it fully and clearly, no such sight will disturb you. You will see the good in life and be hopeful for a great life for yourself.
It is unfashionable to admit to being single
People sometimes hate being single not because they genuinely hate it but because they consider it unfashionable. Everyone seems to be having boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés, live-in partners or spouses. Single women who have established careers are too embarrassed to admit that they need boyfriends. This leads to depression and hate for their lives. They feel admitting to wanting a relationship bruises their self-esteem and ego in society. They have got to learn that it’s ok to admit that they hate being single. Only if they admit it openly, will they find willing partners.
A big mistake some people do when they are single is that they get into a relationship with anyone who is available. For this, they might even lower their standards, agree to get used by someone, agree to be taken for granted and much worse, even agree to be in a bad relationship. This eventually gets them into depression too. Remember, no company is ever worth your self-respect or happiness. Don’t allow someone to take you for a ride just because you fear loneliness. You will only hate yourself later for allowing yourself to be treated that way. There are so many relationships in which the guy only talks to the girl when drunk, or takes her out only to crib and cry over his past girlfriend or only to use her for her finances. Raise your standards. You are worth much, much more. Love yourself the way you would want your partner to love you. Guys who are not worth you will cause much more harm to your self-esteem than loneliness will ever do.
People hate being single also because of many reasons. They hate doing things alone. They want to have kids and raise a family. They hate to eat alone, hate to sleep alone, hate to have fun alone and even hate to go out alone. But only if you admit it to yourself and to others, you will give yourself an opportunity to explore other options.
It’s okay to hate being single. None should be single in life. But if you are, it is not in your hands. It will not last forever. Accept that fact and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You should learn to be content with your own company. Do not hate your own company. Remember, your time will come. Being happy about being single does not mean that you should be like ‘I am single and I love doing things all by myself’. It simply means that it is not the end of the world and while you are single, love it. Just a slight change in attitude is required.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé