Meaning of a Control Freak
Control freak describes a person who has the need to have extreme control over everything. There is always a need to dictate others and get things done their way. They might justify their behavior by making you believe that they are just protective of you and whatever was done was just out of love. For a control freak, there is an always a constant need to control things, or they would fear that their life would fall apart.
Controlling behavior of a person means they set the rules for everybody. They are very judgemental of others and are great manipulators. They could trick you into believing that you were wrong from the beginning and they were right the whole time. They would even make you feel guilty for living your life if it was against their rules.
To spot a control freak is really a difficult task. They are really good manipulators which makes it hard to figure one. You need to think twice before you really understand a controlling person. Read on to know more about their personality traits and behavioral signs.
Personality Traits of a Control Freak
According to psychology, a controlling person would exhibit a few characteristics that are very specific to them. These qualities are their nature, and it is very consistent with every controlling person. When in a relationship with a control freak you might notice these traits that could affect your love life. Here are a few of their personality traits.
1. Being Aggressive in Nature
Control freaks are very aggressive in nature. Just one little mistake and they lose their temper and can easily get ignited. They are very arrogant and always want things their way. They can seem a little scary, and they are never approachable.
When in a relationship with a controlling person it gets really difficult to lead your day to day lives as you will never know when they will have outbursts. This is one of the characteristics of a controlling person.
2. A control freak is Dominating
Everything has to be their way either be in a group or just a couple. They will direct everybody and dictate others. They will make plans for you and make you believe that is the best-suited plan for you.
Your life decisions will no longer be yours but theirs to make. They will live your life for you. They will lead you in every way possible.
3. Manipulators the real meaning of a control freak
Control freaks are really good manipulators. They are very clever and know how to handle you in any situation. They might seem very lovable when trying to trick you into believing them, but you need to see what is under their mask.
They will make you trust that all things they do are for the betterment of you and that it has to be done their way. They will never reveal their true face but will always be under a mask where people will believe that they are a lovely person when truly they are not.
4. Being Self-Centered
Selfishness is what makes them a controlling person. The need to have their way and to be always right is one of the reasons to be a control freak. It is their views, opinions and wants is all that matters to them.
Relationships never work out when there is selfishness instead of love. This is a hard to miss characteristics of a control freak.
5. Lack of Openness
A control freak will never open up, they might seem to be great talkers but will have a lot of hidden secrets within them. They will not be honest when it comes to being in relationships either friendly or romantic ones. They will never be true and will never be open-hearted to anybody.
Behavioral Signs of a Control Freak
Many controlling people never know that they are one. Control freaks leave many noticeable signs that they are controlling in nature. Never miss noticing these signs when trying to spot one. Here are a few signs of understanding the behavior of a control freak.
1. Excessive Talking
A control freak needs all the attention, so when you notice them, they will be excessive talkers. They will talk when in a group just to keep all the attention to themselves.
Control freaks will do all the talking and never give others a chance to talk. They will also be useless talkers, they will talk but will never get any work done. This is a major sign to know a control freak.
2. Emotional Abuser
A controlling person will tease you and hurt you emotionally. If you confront the control freak for hurting you by teasing they will make you feel guilty for mistaking their playfulness. They were funny in their own way, and you misread the situation is what they will make you believe. This is a clear sign using psychology we can find a control freak.
3. Belittle Others
By belittling others, the control freak will feel that they have much more control over others. They might criticize you and make you doubt yourself. Even when you excel in your own field, they will make you question yourself and have second thoughts. This is one of the signs that they are a control freak.
4. Will weaken you
When in a relationship with a control freak, they will cripple you. You will no longer know what you want, your needs, or your happiness. All you will know is your controlling person’s happiness, and you will console yourself saying that is what you need as well. This is the most significant sign of a control freak.
5. Isolates you
Relationships are supposed to make you feel alive and cheerful. But if you are in a relationship with a control freak, they might try and isolate you from your friends and family. They will make you completely dependent on the controlling person so that your life revolves around them. This is a major red flag that tells you; they are a control freak.
Coping Up With a Control Freak
We meet quite a lot of control freaks in our day to day lives we must be able to deal with them so that we can have stress free life. Now that you have identified a control freak around you, there are few ways to cope up with a controlling person.
1. Limit Yourself and Set Boundaries
When in a relationship with a control freak then set a boundary and limit them in your lives. Either be a friend or in a relationship never let them interfere with your happiness. Never let them make any life decisions for you or never let them inside your personal space when they really don’t know any value.
2. Stop Being a Sufferer
Control freaks find it easy to play their mind games with people who have low self-esteem. So, never feel unworthy of yourself and let these manipulators use your weakness against you.
Have faith in yourself and never let these freaks take control of you. Using psychology, the control freak can lead your mind and gain control.
3. Control your Emotions
Relationships are always complicated and tricky. But when in a relationship with a control freak you need to be a little patient.
You need to keep yourself calm and not show your anger or weakness to the control freak so that they don’t try and take complete control of you. This might be really hard at first, but with practice, it gets easier.
4. Confront the control freak
When in a relationship with a control freak it is always wise to confront them with the problem. There is a slight chance that your partner might take in your opinion and try to make amends for their behavior. Relationships are supposed to make you feel heard so if they make an effort to change; it is a good sign.
5. Get Professional Help
Never hesitate to seek professional help. They will be able to give you some valuable advice and use psychology to understand the behavior. It might seem easier but making a control freak understand that they need help itself is a big challenge. So, good luck with that.
Free Yourself from being a control freak
If you find these signs in you, then chances are you are a control freak. Now that you know, it is high time that you make changes to yourself. Take a step back and think about all the people you have missed in your life just by being a control freak. It is not good to try and always have control of everything that is going on.
Reconsider yourself, give yourself a second chance try to value people for who they are. Learn to appreciate others and try to be a little more positive about life. Always hope for the best and look at the bright side instead of looking at the negative side.
Understand that losing your loved one’s trust by manipulating is just going to lose your relationship with your dear one. Assess your strengths and weakness, try improving your strengths and learn to overcome your weakness.
A New You
Accept the fact that you had your own insecurities and fears hence the controlling nature. Understand that failure is a part of human life and learn to appreciate it. Being perfect is a dream which can never be achieved.
Acknowledge these facts and let go of the past, never feel guilty and get stuck living in the past. Accept the fact that we need to make mistakes and learn from them. Now that you know the damage caused by your behavior, never try to dictate people again in life. Take this as a chance to move on and make a better you.
Remember you don’t have to prove yourself that you are completely a new person. Give the people you love the time they need to get to know the new you. Never force them to know the new you, forcing them to notice you will only make you even more controlling. So, be calm and be patient and understand all beautiful things will take their time to bloom. So stay focused and be happy for being a better person.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé