Be willing to trust your instincts, especially if you cannot find answers elsewhere.’ Brian Koslow
Your instinct will always tell you what to do, in any given situation. It’s your choice to acknowledge or ignore it. Relationships being the tricky business they’re, make us doubt a lot of things including our instincts. Especially when those instincts keep screaming get out!
You don’t want to talk to them on the phone
No one talks much on the phone any way. But when it comes to relationships, especially new ones, you want to talk to them, and the frequency might reduce as the relationship goes on, but the anticipation should remain ever the same. If this changes, it’s pretty evident that you don’t want to talk to them.
They aren’t the first ones to hear any good news you get
The relationship you have with them isn’t like any other relationship. You should want to share everything with them, and at the very moment that it happens. If they’re not the first ones to pop into your head when you have good news to share, it’s a definite sign.
You’re arguing over petty things
Arguments find their way in every relationship. You just can’t avoid them. Depending on how you deal with them could either damage or strengthen your relationship. However if you fight over something as insignificant as making the coffee also strong, it’s time you think about what’s actually causing this annoyance. It definitely has to be something much more than that, something about the relationship that isn’t right.
The idea of intimacy doesn’t excite you anymore
It has become more of a habit than something you used to love and actually looked forward to. You don’t care much about being close to them physically anymore, let alone any other way. If you don’t desire them anymore, it should be alarming.
Your apologies become meaningless
Anything you do wrong, you only make up for it by saying sorry, without actually making up for it. You’re not bothered to talk about it or set things right, an apology appears to be sufficient. If you can’t be asked to work things out, why are you even keeping up with the relationship in the first place?
You’re not particularly proud of them
You don’t feel comfortable with having to introduce them to someone as your partner. You’re also conscious of how other people would judge them. If you can’t own them in public, how will you have a long-term relationship with them? Not to forget it’s embarrassing and hurtful for them to be treated like that.
You’re distracted by other people
You can’t keep your mind from drifting off into the thoughts of someone other than your partner. You might occasionally see a face that may amaze you beyond words, but if you can’t get that face out of your head, trouble!! You’re definitely not that into your partner anymore.
They irritate you by simply existing!
Every little thing they do or don’t do just seems to set you off. And everything that goes south is always their fault, even if it’s something pertaining to your life and has nothing to do with them. It’s because of them that nothing good can ever happen. You begin to resent them for no apparent reason.
You have trust issues
This could be as much their fault as it could be yours. They might’ve possibly done something to break your trust in the past and made you question their loyalty. But at the same time it could be your own past experiences or merely insecurity that could be the root of these trust issues. If it’s because of you, until you figure it out, you’ll never be able to trust anyone, let alone your partner. But if it’s your partner, you deserve to be with someone that never makes you doubt their loyalty to you.
Your family and friends still don’t approve of them
Not everyone hits it off in the first meet, especially when the concerned people are the ones that care about you the most in the world. You can expect your family and friends to be critical of the person you’re dating, even over-critical at times. But if your partner doesn’t manage to rub well on them in time, maybe you should try looking at things from other people’s eyes to see what you’ve been missing all this time.
The relationship is abusive
The abuse could be in any form; physical, emotional or mental; and equally unacceptable in all forms. You shouldn’t have to be with someone who harms you or your self-esteem in anyway. Partners are supposed to help each other grow, not pull each other down. A relationship that threatens your safety or growth isn’t a desirable one.
You’re being abusive
Being on the receiving end is as wrong as being on the delivering end. Regardless of what your relationship might have come to, it’s never acceptable to harm your partner in anyway. Get away from them to save them from you and to save yourself from any regret.
You can never let bygones be bygones
You keep holding onto that grudge and allow it to take over you and make you do stupid things like bring it up at the worst possible time. Your partner may be under the impression that you’re past it but you keep springing it on them even after they’ve apologised profusely. This is unfair to them, and you can’t move on without getting over it.
You’re giving out negative vibes
They can sense that something’s up with you. You may be acting or sounding different without even knowing it. They might or might not see a break up coming, but they do notice the change in you. And every time they try to talk to you about it, you try avoiding it.
You’ve threatened to break up in the past
Maybe once or more than once, but if you’ve ever said that you’d break up with them over something or the other, the break up is probably inevitable. And it could even be from their side, as a reaction to your provocation.
You don’t see them in your future
Or more appropriately put, you don’t want to see them in your future. Every time you think about even the near future, you just can’t seem to fit them in anywhere. It’s like you’re convinced that they don’t belong with you.
You have a hunch that it’s not right for you
Trust your gut. Do what it says without thinking twice. Do it in the face of all logic. Just do it already!
Talk to me
Did you notice any of these signs in your relationship before a break up? What aided your decision? Was it something that’s not on this list? Let it out and let me know in the comments below.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé