A lot of us are fairly guilty of this. We allow ourselves to remain stuck in relationships that should practically already be over. Breaking up is such a terrible experience for any two people to have to go through.
And so it should come to one one’s surprise that a lot of people who are unhappy in their relationships will put off the breakup just because they are too afraid of having to go through that heartbreaking process of separation.
But that’s always the wrong way to go about it. It’s much better to just face the music than to allow yourself to stay stuck in a relationship that just makes you unhappy and unfulfilled. As cliché as it sounds, you just have to be able to rip that Band-Aid off and hope for the best.
You can’t keep on lying to yourself about the state of your relationship. Once you realize that it’s over and there’s nothing you can do to improve the situation, then you have to just call it quits and move on.
Yes, it’s easier said than done. And you might not want to throw away a relationship that you feel you may still be able to work on. So how do you know for sure that things are definitely over in your relationship? Well, only you can answer that for yourself.
However, if you need some guidance and perspective, then you can turn to this article. Below, 8 women have revealed how they found out that their own relationships were over – and that it was time for them to move on.
“We were always having the same conversations over and over again.” – Kerry, 34
There was a lack of diversity and variance in the way that we communicated to one another. Our conversations were always rehashed topics and sentences. It was like listening to a broken-record player if you paid attention to our conversations. And that’s when I realized that we weren’t connecting anymore. We weren’t evolving. We were stuck in the past and we were just trying to prolong it for as long as possible.
“He was just more interested in the relationship than I was.” – Martha, 29
He was more invested in the relationship – and I just wasn’t anymore. And I knew that that was unfair to him. I knew that I was being unfair and I just had to end things because I couldn’t bear with that guilt.
“We were no longer physically intimate with one another.” – Daniella, 26
We couldn’t keep our hands off each other when we first started dating. But as time grew by, the magic started to dwindle down and we both knew it. The feelings just weren’t there anymore – and it was just a matter of time before we called it quits.
“I always felt lonely even when we were together.” – Catherine, 29
If there’s one place in the world where you should never have to feel lonely, it should be in your relationship. And once I understood that, I had no problems of just letting him go. I didn’t need another person in my life who was only going to add to my loneliness.
“His mere presence was already enough to put me in an annoyed mood.” – Nicole, 28
I knew that I shouldn’t have been feeling that way. But I couldn’t help it. His general presence was just a mere annoyance to me. I didn’t have the affection and attraction that I used to have for him. And that’ when I realized that it wasn’t fair to myself or to him for us to keep that charade going.
“We just didn’t share the same values.” – Kaila, 23
My values are essential to me. They are what make me who I am. And the more we got to know one another, the more that I discovered just how different and incompatible we were. And I wasn’t willing to compromise my values for a guy. So I ended it.
“He didn’t envision the same future that I was envisioning for myself.” – Camille, 31
I wasn’t in the relationship for a mere temporary high. I didn’t want a short-term fling. I wanted a genuine romance with someone – a romance that was going to last through and through. And I just had to end things when I knew we had no future.
“He never got into the stuff that I was passionate about.” – Isabel, 39
He never made an effort to get into the things that I was into. And I just felt like we weren’t connecting with one another anymore. And so I asked myself: what was the point in staying in a relationship with someone I couldn’t connect to?
“Our relationship just felt like more burden than pleasure.” – Cheryl, 42
I understand that relationships are supposed to be a lot of effort and hard work. And I was always willing to put that effort in. But it also came to a point where it just felt like a second job. I realized that relationships shouldn’t be making my life harder – they should be making me a better person. And I knew that it was all wrong and I needed to call things off.
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The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé